To wake up
Dreams have been haunting me again. My mind is constantly working, spinning so many webs of thought that I end up getting tangled in them. So what am I supposed to do? I can't say that I hate the dreams, because when I wake up, I'm smiling. But when I wake up, they give me something new to think about which perpetuates the ongoing problem of getting stuck in a mass-world of thought! It feels like there's no escaping it! I am doomed to be stuck in a couldron of ideas, memories and thoughts, but I am at the boiling point, and sooner than later, it's all going to overflow.
Again, I can't say that I am necessarily "upset" about dreaming as much as I do. I mean, at least when I'm dreaming things don't seem as insane and unsettled as they really are. It's hard waking up tired every morning because my mind is running in non-stop mode. It's on over drive and I can't make it slow down. But I guess that's just me, I'm always running and always have to be doing something, or I don't feel right.
I think the hardest thing for me is that my dreams are giving me a false sense of reality. It's like when you tell the same lie over and over and over, sooner or later, you start believing it. Anymore, I feel slightly disturbed because I get angered when I have to seperate myself from my dreams during the day. I wish I could live by the "ignorance is bliss" line. I wish I could just go on, living and breathing my nightly thoughts, but I can't. Somehow I get reality checked and it feels like I hit a wall. It almost feels like life is crashing down on me, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
The song says "a dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep", so when are these so called wishes going to come true? I know some are impossible. There are some people I can't get back, no matter how bad I beg and pray and plead with God to get back, even for just a little more time. But there are other things that I'm gunning for, and it seems like when I get one step forward, I get shoved two steps back, and I'm farther away from attaining what I want. So I pose this to you again, what am I supposed to do? I'm not the most patient of people, but I feel I have been for a very long time. When will it be my turn to laugh again? When will it be my turn to smile again, sincerely smile, and remove the painted mask I feel like I'm hiding behind? When will it be my turn to stop dreaming my dreams, and wake up to start living them?
Again, I can't say that I am necessarily "upset" about dreaming as much as I do. I mean, at least when I'm dreaming things don't seem as insane and unsettled as they really are. It's hard waking up tired every morning because my mind is running in non-stop mode. It's on over drive and I can't make it slow down. But I guess that's just me, I'm always running and always have to be doing something, or I don't feel right.
I think the hardest thing for me is that my dreams are giving me a false sense of reality. It's like when you tell the same lie over and over and over, sooner or later, you start believing it. Anymore, I feel slightly disturbed because I get angered when I have to seperate myself from my dreams during the day. I wish I could live by the "ignorance is bliss" line. I wish I could just go on, living and breathing my nightly thoughts, but I can't. Somehow I get reality checked and it feels like I hit a wall. It almost feels like life is crashing down on me, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
The song says "a dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep", so when are these so called wishes going to come true? I know some are impossible. There are some people I can't get back, no matter how bad I beg and pray and plead with God to get back, even for just a little more time. But there are other things that I'm gunning for, and it seems like when I get one step forward, I get shoved two steps back, and I'm farther away from attaining what I want. So I pose this to you again, what am I supposed to do? I'm not the most patient of people, but I feel I have been for a very long time. When will it be my turn to laugh again? When will it be my turn to smile again, sincerely smile, and remove the painted mask I feel like I'm hiding behind? When will it be my turn to stop dreaming my dreams, and wake up to start living them?
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 4:53 AM
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