A post before bed

It's 2am and I'm not tired yet. I should be though. But I want to write...though I don't know what I want to say.

Life is just so surreal. Such a crazy ball of wax. I have no idea how to proceed with anything. How to act. How to be. But I guess that's kinda a lie. Because I can truthfully say that I am just being me. The little things I do are just because that is how I am. I'm not forcing anything or trying to act any certain way, I'm just doing what I think is right (even if I have to mull over it for like 20 minutes and hem and haw over if I should do it).

Wow...I can't seem to formulate a complete thought. Perhaps I am more tired than I thought I was. That could be.

I dunno. Nothing feels real yet. Nothing seems right. I want to say "I love you." I want to give a kiss. But I don't know if that's acceptable or not. Oof. I don't want to make things harder, but it hurts my heart to hold it in...Kinda like a gas bubble. Hehehe, what an analogy, lol.