Thinking about him...

Last night was a little rough for me. I was doing A-OK all night, but when I laid down and curled up, all of a sudden I got a ping of sadness. Somehow, the way I was holding the pillow reminded me of him and I squeezed my eyes tight and tried to imagine how his heartbeat used to sound. I tried to remember the feeling of his hand on mine and just the warmth of his body. I didn't want to wander back into that emotional state, but I did.

My heart started to ache and yes, I did begin to feel sad and lonely, but I just kept thinking about the good times that are soon to come. I do miss him. I do miss us. But as I've said before, I know it's better for both of us to just be friends, the way we are now. It may suck at times. There are times I just want to throw my arms around him and give him a great big hug or kiss. There are times I just want him to hold me and tell me things are going to get easier. But I'm a tough cookie. I can get through this. It's all about taking life one moment at a time.