Memories...
I couldn't help but think about past memories tonight. It's not bad. I'm not emotional. I'm not upset. I just feel a sense of peace.
Walking past the bank in Walmart I remembered that that's where we first learned that Michael Jackson died.
Spraying week killer on the side of the house I remembered when we laid the newspaper and mulch and just how much more paper it took than we originally thought.
Browsing around Home Depot I couldn't help but think back to all the times we went there when we first got the house and talked about all the things we were going to do.
Eating the tilapia I made for dinner triggered the memory when I added WAY too much lemon juice to chicken...but he ate it anyway.
Walking in through the back door I got that woosh of the first time we walked into the house...and we both saw it and just knew it was the one.
I had a flash to when I was celebrating Balls to the Walls night and he was supposed to be DD, but we wound up getting plastered, he got sick at yacked at work, and I called my BFF for a ride home because we really didn't want to stay at the office.
I remember how mean he got when he drank too much tequila...and how mean I got when I drank too much bourbon.
It's crazy how many little things happened that at the time, didn't "mean" that much, mean now, they just mean the world.
I know this post might sound like I'm hanging on too much (?) but these things just brought a smile to my face. Yes, it still stings knowing that it's over. But I'm so glad that the memories I cherish most are the ones that are sticking out to me. I guess it would probably be easier to think of all the shitty times, the drama, the anger moments, but that's not what I want to do.
I'm not the way I once was. I no longer want to fight life tooth-and-nail. I guess you could say I've become more accepting of everything. I spent so many years in the "dark ages," being mad at everyone, being mad at the world, I know now I can't live like that. At the time, it was what I needed to do. And I'm glad I did, because I learned so much about myself that way.
So off I go...to think back to more good times and smile.
Walking past the bank in Walmart I remembered that that's where we first learned that Michael Jackson died.
Spraying week killer on the side of the house I remembered when we laid the newspaper and mulch and just how much more paper it took than we originally thought.
Browsing around Home Depot I couldn't help but think back to all the times we went there when we first got the house and talked about all the things we were going to do.
Eating the tilapia I made for dinner triggered the memory when I added WAY too much lemon juice to chicken...but he ate it anyway.
Walking in through the back door I got that woosh of the first time we walked into the house...and we both saw it and just knew it was the one.
I had a flash to when I was celebrating Balls to the Walls night and he was supposed to be DD, but we wound up getting plastered, he got sick at yacked at work, and I called my BFF for a ride home because we really didn't want to stay at the office.
I remember how mean he got when he drank too much tequila...and how mean I got when I drank too much bourbon.
It's crazy how many little things happened that at the time, didn't "mean" that much, mean now, they just mean the world.
I know this post might sound like I'm hanging on too much (?) but these things just brought a smile to my face. Yes, it still stings knowing that it's over. But I'm so glad that the memories I cherish most are the ones that are sticking out to me. I guess it would probably be easier to think of all the shitty times, the drama, the anger moments, but that's not what I want to do.
I'm not the way I once was. I no longer want to fight life tooth-and-nail. I guess you could say I've become more accepting of everything. I spent so many years in the "dark ages," being mad at everyone, being mad at the world, I know now I can't live like that. At the time, it was what I needed to do. And I'm glad I did, because I learned so much about myself that way.
So off I go...to think back to more good times and smile.
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 7:10 PM
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