Ocean's of Thought
I don't know what I want to say. I know I want to write, but I don't know what I want to say. I feel kind of confused today. Well, actually, I've felt kind of confused all weekend. I had a really good weekend, don't get me wrong, but I feel like I'm cloaked in some kind of fog right now.
A good point was raised today...regarding this new life I'm leading...The hardest part about the whole breakup is going to be when one of us starts dating again. When those words were uttered, that's when I felt my stomach drop out and a gnawing feeling began. Now my mind swing-sways back and forth on the issue.
It's a scary thing to think about. Because I know it's going to break my heart if/when he does find someone new, even though it shouldn't. But I really think that anyone who truly loved someone, regardless of their current situation (say they had begun dating someone by then too), would feel a stab of pain. But that's just me. That's just how my mind works.
I don't know. I need to find some kind of hobby. Friends and I talked about a bowling league, but like me, no one is ready to commit to something like that. And yes, I do dinner with my friends during the week. But I need something that's done away from the house (one that doesn't cost a lot). That's where the 2nd job would have come in handy...However I don't want all my free time allotted for.
Ohhh lord. My mind is just an ocean of thought. Waves of emotion keep crashing and at times I feel like my sanity is being dragged out with the current. But I have to keep swimming...that's all I can do. Sink or swim. I just hope I have the strength to keep up with it all and not lose myself beneath the surface.
A good point was raised today...regarding this new life I'm leading...The hardest part about the whole breakup is going to be when one of us starts dating again. When those words were uttered, that's when I felt my stomach drop out and a gnawing feeling began. Now my mind swing-sways back and forth on the issue.
It's a scary thing to think about. Because I know it's going to break my heart if/when he does find someone new, even though it shouldn't. But I really think that anyone who truly loved someone, regardless of their current situation (say they had begun dating someone by then too), would feel a stab of pain. But that's just me. That's just how my mind works.
I don't know. I need to find some kind of hobby. Friends and I talked about a bowling league, but like me, no one is ready to commit to something like that. And yes, I do dinner with my friends during the week. But I need something that's done away from the house (one that doesn't cost a lot). That's where the 2nd job would have come in handy...However I don't want all my free time allotted for.
Ohhh lord. My mind is just an ocean of thought. Waves of emotion keep crashing and at times I feel like my sanity is being dragged out with the current. But I have to keep swimming...that's all I can do. Sink or swim. I just hope I have the strength to keep up with it all and not lose myself beneath the surface.
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 6:46 PM
1 Comments:
Mine dated the gal he cheated on me with. They've been "boyfriend & girlfriend" since I moved out. It breaks my heart, but it also makes me so angry inside about how disrespectful he is about our relationship. I know exactly how you're feeling.
They say that the time between relationships is the most valuable because you grow and reflect. It's during these times we learn to love ourselves and be comfortable with being alone so that we can welcome someone new into our lives. It isn't a race to see who finds someone first, but by living an authentic life, you will make peace with the end.
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