Being an adult isn't what it's cracked up to be

Ok, so I don't know if this is good, bad or otherwise, but watching commercials (like the Wonderbread commercial) where parents are doing voiceovers like "Oh I wonder if she thinks boys are still icky" or the ones where kids are in high school and experiencing everything new, they make me feel like I'm not ready to be a grown up yet.

Yes, I guess it's good that I'm able to identify that, but will it ever go away? I still watching movies and get that tingle of excitement and hope...I still wonder what if...I still watch cartoons (religously) and believe in even the most trite of things. Will I ever be grown up enough to be a parent? NO I AM NOT PREGNANT. That is something I am DEAD POSITIVE of...It's just these things come across my mind and I get a little spooked.

Kind of like the whole marriage thing. I want it, want it, want it...but will I ever really be ready for it?

I wish someone could analyze my brain and the way it works, because it is just absolutely insane how much whirling and swirling and whirring it does over everything. Like I make one decision or act on one emotion and WHAM, overdrive. And I can't stop it. It's just so insane. Life is so insane.

And every so often, I wonder if I'm actually laying comatose somewhere and everything that is happening is just a mental playback of life...Hmmm, what if...