It all hurts

It's hard to take the leap when you have no idea what you're leaping to. That's where I'm stuck right now. I know something needs to be done, but I don't know what. I know something needs to be said, but I can't find my voice. I know something needs to give, but I can't figure out what it is.

Or maybe I'm just too scared to actually admit that I know it all, I'm just unwilling to make a move on any of it.

Life is totally taking a huge toll on me. I don't know if it's the time of the year, having cabin fever, wanting to take a break but not really having anywhere to break to, I have no clue. I just feel like there's this heavy-ass weight of the world sitting right on my shoulders.

It hurts to smile. That's not good. I almost feel like taking life one day at a time is what is hurting me. Maybe because it's making me realize what my life is lacking? What my life needs? What changes need to happen for me to get back to that happy point I used to be at?

OOF. This sucks some serious ass, believe you me. And I don't know what to do. I fear opening my mouth too much because I tend to have a loose tongue and not use caution when I vent. That could be dangerous. On the other hand, it could be a blessing.

In wine there is truth...I need to work on getting to the truth without the wine part though.