Just DO IT

I'm so tired of being jealous of other people's relationships. Of seeing posts on Facebook like "Hanging with my baby tonight" or "Can't wait to see my love later." I can't help but feel jealous because I don't have that. I don't know what else to say or do, because I'm doing everything I can do.

I just don't feel special. And whether or not that is true, I don't know, but I don't feel it. And yea, I know I talked to him and told him that we need to be honest with each other, but it sucks having to ASK for compliments. It sucks having to ask to be made a "big deal of". It SUCKS to feel like I just don't matter an ounce because there are other things that are much more important to him. And I hate saying that, I hate having to admit it, but I can't help it!!!

I don't want to have to ask for this kind of shit because it's not something that's meant to be asked of. I don't want to ask for flowers because he should get them for me JUST BECAUSE. I've gotten more "just because" cards from my friends than I ever have from him...and that makes me sad. Yea, I know he loves me, but sometimes I just can't help but wonder if it will always be that way???

Open car doors for me! Buy me flowers! Send me random cards! Do little things to make me feel special! PLEASE!!!!! I just don't want to have to ask for this....again...because I've asked too many times before and I'm tired of it.