So this it what it feels like to SUCK!
It really hurt when I was bitch slapped with the realization that the things I learned in school help for NOTHING in the real-world workplace. What do I mean you may ask...Well, it comes down to this...I don't know ANYTHING about ANYTHING!
You want to know what Sonnet number was the "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day"? I got your back. You want to know random, pointless shit about authors or poets? What Edgar Allan Poe's last food consumed was? How many times Sylvia Plath tried to kill herself before she was successful? I got you covered...Yet NONE OF THAT helps me in my job. Maybe that's why I can't really move into any other fields at the moment, because I don't know enough to get me through it. I don't know shit about the inner workings of my company, let alone how to help half the people when they need something, because I never learned that at school. I'm a quick study, but I never get the opportunity to learn. I know things not many people do, but that's not going to help me amount to too much more than I already am.
I look around, "eating some popcorn and watching the movie" if you will, and feel like I don't amount to anything. I know useless, meaningless dribble. I'm not trying to be conceited, but I kick ass at what I do. I'm great with people. I kick ass at retail. I'm awesome at the things I don't want to do or be forever! So what do I do? I can't afford (both literally and metaphorically), to take chances and gamble with my life. I wish I could. I wish I had known then, a little bit of what I know now, so I could have better prepared myself for this "real world".
Have I really amounted to the failure I always strived not to be? Sure as hell seems like it. Oh wow, I got a degree. Go me! Like it means anything these days. Yes, I know my job isn't high ranked. Yes, I know that I have a "lowly" position, but I don't need to be belittled about it. You don't think it crosses my mind every day that I spent 5 years in school to amount to something pretty much anybody could do?! Well, it does. Every fucking day it does!
(*Sigh* I really needed this vent)
You want to know what Sonnet number was the "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day"? I got your back. You want to know random, pointless shit about authors or poets? What Edgar Allan Poe's last food consumed was? How many times Sylvia Plath tried to kill herself before she was successful? I got you covered...Yet NONE OF THAT helps me in my job. Maybe that's why I can't really move into any other fields at the moment, because I don't know enough to get me through it. I don't know shit about the inner workings of my company, let alone how to help half the people when they need something, because I never learned that at school. I'm a quick study, but I never get the opportunity to learn. I know things not many people do, but that's not going to help me amount to too much more than I already am.
I look around, "eating some popcorn and watching the movie" if you will, and feel like I don't amount to anything. I know useless, meaningless dribble. I'm not trying to be conceited, but I kick ass at what I do. I'm great with people. I kick ass at retail. I'm awesome at the things I don't want to do or be forever! So what do I do? I can't afford (both literally and metaphorically), to take chances and gamble with my life. I wish I could. I wish I had known then, a little bit of what I know now, so I could have better prepared myself for this "real world".
Have I really amounted to the failure I always strived not to be? Sure as hell seems like it. Oh wow, I got a degree. Go me! Like it means anything these days. Yes, I know my job isn't high ranked. Yes, I know that I have a "lowly" position, but I don't need to be belittled about it. You don't think it crosses my mind every day that I spent 5 years in school to amount to something pretty much anybody could do?! Well, it does. Every fucking day it does!
(*Sigh* I really needed this vent)
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 3:43 PM
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