Why birthdays are so important to me...
Today is my brother's 25th birthday, so let me start out by saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY YO!!!
Ok, so I was talking with a friend today and they asked me why I make such a big deal out of birthdays. "Why are you stressing so bad over this, it's just a birthday," or "I don't understand why you feel you have to do so much all weekend long, it's just one day." Yes, it is just ONE day but it's one of the most important days in every persons life.
The reason I make such a big deal out of birthdays is because I know what it's like when no one remembers. As much of a "non-issue" that I would like to consider it, it really did hit me hard. I always prided myself on my strength, the "hard-ass" persona I liked to embody, and the fact that I rarely let my guard down long enough to get hurt, but no one remembering or acknowledging me that one day, kicked all those feelings out the window. Never before had I felt so deserted, so unknown, so alone, until the day, MY day, that no one seemed to care. I don't dwell on it like I used to, but it still stings to recall the memory, and that pain is what makes me strive to never let any of my friends go through what I did.
So that is the answer. That is why I make such a big production out of birthdays. I don't EVER want anyone to feel the way I did. I don't EVER want anyone to feel as unwanted and unloved as I did. Yes, it may sound over dramatic, but put yourself in my shoes...Think of it being your birthday and none of your friends, the few you had at that point of life, cared...Then you will see. Then, you just might understand why I refuse to let history repeat itself.
Ok, so I was talking with a friend today and they asked me why I make such a big deal out of birthdays. "Why are you stressing so bad over this, it's just a birthday," or "I don't understand why you feel you have to do so much all weekend long, it's just one day." Yes, it is just ONE day but it's one of the most important days in every persons life.
The reason I make such a big deal out of birthdays is because I know what it's like when no one remembers. As much of a "non-issue" that I would like to consider it, it really did hit me hard. I always prided myself on my strength, the "hard-ass" persona I liked to embody, and the fact that I rarely let my guard down long enough to get hurt, but no one remembering or acknowledging me that one day, kicked all those feelings out the window. Never before had I felt so deserted, so unknown, so alone, until the day, MY day, that no one seemed to care. I don't dwell on it like I used to, but it still stings to recall the memory, and that pain is what makes me strive to never let any of my friends go through what I did.
So that is the answer. That is why I make such a big production out of birthdays. I don't EVER want anyone to feel the way I did. I don't EVER want anyone to feel as unwanted and unloved as I did. Yes, it may sound over dramatic, but put yourself in my shoes...Think of it being your birthday and none of your friends, the few you had at that point of life, cared...Then you will see. Then, you just might understand why I refuse to let history repeat itself.
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 8:35 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home