Overwhelming Thoughts

I feel so painfully numb right now. Not numb as in the inability to feel, but numb as in the tingling, frozen-burning feeling when I have too much to mull over. I'm at one of those lovely points (again) where I feel like I am observing my life through third person, yet all thoughts are being processed through first, and nothing is making sense. I'm trying to prioritize everything that I want or that is happening, but it seems like the more I try, the deeper I get and the farther away from a solution I become.

Anymore, it seems that the harder I try at something, the less effective it is. The more I want something, the harder it is to get. Shouldn't it be the opposite? Shouldn't it be, in a sense, "easier" to achieve the goals I'm looking to achieve or attain the things I am looking to attain?! It really boggles the mind I tell you. It's like running on a wheel, the faster you go, the faster it spins, but when you begin to slow down, the wheel is still whirring, and it's hard not to trip. Did that make sense?

Maybe once this month is over? Once the move is done? Once I start seeing the changes I am looking to see? Once I get more adjusted? Once there is more assurance? Who knows. I think there is just so much stuff happening right now, it's beginning to overwhelm me...Even the deepest breaths feel like the shortest puffs of air...