Sunday, February 13, 2005

Creepy Dream Sequence

BLAH! This no sleep thing is starting to get to me. At first, I thought the constant dreaming was going to slowly lead me down the path to insanity, but something new has entered into my mental realm. What's happening now is that my mind is being plagued by memories, and the reason I know they are not dreams is because I am fully conscious and aware of what is going on. It's like my mind takes over everything and if I am laying in my own bed (persay) I will feel as if I am eslewhere. The sounds, the scents, the feel, I know I am in my room but my mind makes me believe that I am somewhere else.
It's really creepy when I sit up and I know if I look to my right I will see all my albums and to my left, my alarm clock and night stand. But when I try to focus myself and try to find the "familiars" in the room to make me accept the fact that I am still in my own house, I don't see them. I see the items in the room that my mind makes me feel that I am in. Does that make sense? It's really strange and really annoying.
I was offered an opinion that maybe I am sleeping but my mind is making me feel as though I am truly awake. I don't know if that's what it is or not, but I know something strange is going on. It wouldn't be as big a deal, but I never feel fully rested. With some "memories" (or whatever they are) I wish I didn't have to "wake up" or get snapped back into reality. Some really hurt though, and I can't shake them. I go through the night remembering every detail, every scent, and when it's time to snap out of it, I try to will myself not to, but I can't help it. Maybe this is my minds way of saying never let it go, never let it die, never let the little things slip away, because one day, I won't remember the small things that made me the happiest, and that will be one of the most tragic days of all.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home