Where I am
"All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream".
It seems that just when I get used to feeling a certain way, a dream or an omen comes into my life and throws it all out of whack again. How do we know that a dream is just a dream? How do we know that when we talk to someone in a dream, it is real and not some figment of the imagination? Are the words spoken true? Are they really a voice from beyond the grave? I don't know. I spoke with Bill last night, and what he said to me meant a lot, but should it? Is my imagination putting words in his mouth and making me see him in an attempt to cope with everything that has happened? Or was it really him, coming back and letting me know what I had been wondering? I hate to say I will never know, because if it was real, I will know someday.
I feel as though I have pushed off the deep end of the swimming pool, and now I am floating in the water, not feeling the bottom or the sides around me. It isn't a scary feeling, just very surreal. I don't know whether I should swim out further, or stay where I am at, or swim back to the sides. It's the strangest feeling in the world. It's kind of like being in the limbo that I was in for the past year, but not being as upset as I was. I have accepted everything that had happened to me, and now I am moving on.
It's hard to say that I have given up on what I worked on for so long. So I won't say that. I have not given up, but merely accepted the course of action that my life was meant to take. I am letting nature take its course and what will be will be. I am enjoying my life for what it is, not what it "could" be, and that's the smartest thing I have done in a very long time!
It seems that just when I get used to feeling a certain way, a dream or an omen comes into my life and throws it all out of whack again. How do we know that a dream is just a dream? How do we know that when we talk to someone in a dream, it is real and not some figment of the imagination? Are the words spoken true? Are they really a voice from beyond the grave? I don't know. I spoke with Bill last night, and what he said to me meant a lot, but should it? Is my imagination putting words in his mouth and making me see him in an attempt to cope with everything that has happened? Or was it really him, coming back and letting me know what I had been wondering? I hate to say I will never know, because if it was real, I will know someday.
I feel as though I have pushed off the deep end of the swimming pool, and now I am floating in the water, not feeling the bottom or the sides around me. It isn't a scary feeling, just very surreal. I don't know whether I should swim out further, or stay where I am at, or swim back to the sides. It's the strangest feeling in the world. It's kind of like being in the limbo that I was in for the past year, but not being as upset as I was. I have accepted everything that had happened to me, and now I am moving on.
It's hard to say that I have given up on what I worked on for so long. So I won't say that. I have not given up, but merely accepted the course of action that my life was meant to take. I am letting nature take its course and what will be will be. I am enjoying my life for what it is, not what it "could" be, and that's the smartest thing I have done in a very long time!
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 1:30 AM
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