Such a life

Ahh such a bitter-sweet life I lead. Gently stepping on the fallen, jagged edges of a broken heart that is slowly mending its wounds. Why must it all taste so sour? Sweetness, a flavor tasted but a few times, then the after taste of putrid bile over comes my senses. Staring into the mirror, I see no reflection, but that of piercing eyes with emptiness in the center. Life seems to normal, so right, then in the blink of an eye, reality comes crashing down like a meteor shower, and I am left in the ruins of wasted time. A smile, nothing more than a mask, a painted on make-up to make me look all right, to make me look happy. It seems that happiness is nothing more than a cruel joke. I tasted its fruits, but no longer have the ability to savor them. Why does this pain overwhelm me so? Why does this feeling of loss, this feeling of nothingness overtake me so often? I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't even know what my purpose is. I am a puppet whose strings are being tugged and pulled. I dance just to make the master happy. What more can I do? What more can I say? I have tried to follow the moonlight into the river of contentment, but end up getting lost on my journey. What light should I follow? How much longer shall I make this trek until I will need to give it up, and head down a different road of life? The year is ending, and with it, my will is slowly dying away. When its gone, nothing more than a lost soul and an empty shell will be left to roam this world.