Questions of the Night
And I laugh, high pitched sound echoing into the nothingness that consumes me. How much longer must I live in the void of life? How much longer must I dance into the emptiness of the night? I stare into the blackened ceiling, pondering where the woodpecker that poked holes into the navy sky flew off to. I wish I could follow its lead. I wish I could fly away, leaving little, shining, rays of hope wherever I went. But I can't.
I yearn to taste the happiness I once had. I pray that that missing piece of my puzzle finds me and completes who I am once again. Why must I constantly hope, and pray, and yearn and pine for the thing I need and want the most? Why can't my life just be completed like it was supposed to be, and I could move on from this state of mental and emotional frustration?
At night, my mind wanders and wonders. I lay awake thinking about everything, and each night I try to rationalize my actions and my thoughts. How much more can I take though? How much more can my heart, my mind, my soul take? It's like I am caught in a deadly undertow, caressing the downfall of what may have been and what is. Tasting the bitter-sweet flavor of the freedom I so openly wanted, I realize that it burns my lips and scorches my soul.
In time, all will be healed. In time, all will be revealed. But until then, how am I supposed to go against what my heart tells me? I am following it's beat, and it takes me back to one place, but what do I do when I am an outcast in that place? What am I supposed to do? Try to be accepted back? Try to push my way in and re-start where I should be? I feel as though I will never know, and fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) this uncertainty is what keeps my mind working and keeps my heart beating every day through.
I yearn to taste the happiness I once had. I pray that that missing piece of my puzzle finds me and completes who I am once again. Why must I constantly hope, and pray, and yearn and pine for the thing I need and want the most? Why can't my life just be completed like it was supposed to be, and I could move on from this state of mental and emotional frustration?
At night, my mind wanders and wonders. I lay awake thinking about everything, and each night I try to rationalize my actions and my thoughts. How much more can I take though? How much more can my heart, my mind, my soul take? It's like I am caught in a deadly undertow, caressing the downfall of what may have been and what is. Tasting the bitter-sweet flavor of the freedom I so openly wanted, I realize that it burns my lips and scorches my soul.
In time, all will be healed. In time, all will be revealed. But until then, how am I supposed to go against what my heart tells me? I am following it's beat, and it takes me back to one place, but what do I do when I am an outcast in that place? What am I supposed to do? Try to be accepted back? Try to push my way in and re-start where I should be? I feel as though I will never know, and fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) this uncertainty is what keeps my mind working and keeps my heart beating every day through.
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 3:24 AM
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