Depths of Thought

Beneath this hooded cloak I roam, tasting the bitter-sweet fruits of temptation. I wander aimlessly, searching for the key to unlock the door leading into Utopia. But where shall I look for this treasure? How many pools must I dip my fingertips into until I find the lost fountain of youth? I continue this search, this quest each day, never knowing which path to take or which road to travel down. Relying on nothing but my instincts, I walk blindly into the unknown.
I touch flame to learn what the soul of fire feels like. I taste acid to understand what lingering hatred feels like. I open my arms to pain and misunderstandings in an attempt to prove to myself that I am strong. Traveling this dusty highway, I realize that the only footprints are my own, and that I am utterly alone. But looking ahead, I see my footprints pre-made, and behind, there is nothing but gritty dirt, swirling in the wind. So is the deja vu feeling that rapes my mind each day more than just a fluke? Have I lived this life, and walked these roads, and still make the same choices and decisions because it is fate? Because it is the destiny I was meant to have? Or am I eternally cursed to haunt my memories and my past, until I can peacefully rest in the future?