Another lesson
It's amazing how many life lessons fall into your lap when you aren't looking. In the past year, I have learned many things. Not all were easy, but they were still important experiences that helped to mold who I am today. Sometimes the road got bumpy, and it felt like I was going to lose control, but in the end, I made it through safely.
When Bill died, his biggest gift to me was in the form a reality check, that tomorrow may never come. The lesson I learned yesterday was that you cannot live your every "today" in the hopes of a certain tomorrow. You must live every "today" with the belief that tomorrow will be good, no matter what it entails.
I had my mind set on what I wanted my tomorrows to be like. I was hell bent on making that a reality, but the problem was, I never stopped to enjoy my todays. I was in such a rush and wanted to get to tomorrow so fast (in hopes that they would be all I dreamt of), I overlooked many things. I never got to enjoy my life because I was so sure that the next day would bring me ultimate happiness. I know now that happiness is what you want it to be. I want to be happy, and I am going to be happy with how my life turned out.
Another thing I realized is that I was trying to change who I was to get to my happy place. No one should have to act a certain way or like certain music or look a certain way to make someone else happy or do it in hopes of achieving ultimate happiness themselves. I had tunnel vision and I thought I knew exactly how I wanted my life to be. I was wrong in that aspect. I wanted what I thought I could have, but was proved wrong when true colors were shown.
Whatever the case is, I was slammed with a lot over the past month, but I won't let it get me down. I found out that I am a lot stronger than I have ever been before, and knowing that is what is going to get me to the place in my life where I want to be...happy just being me.
When Bill died, his biggest gift to me was in the form a reality check, that tomorrow may never come. The lesson I learned yesterday was that you cannot live your every "today" in the hopes of a certain tomorrow. You must live every "today" with the belief that tomorrow will be good, no matter what it entails.
I had my mind set on what I wanted my tomorrows to be like. I was hell bent on making that a reality, but the problem was, I never stopped to enjoy my todays. I was in such a rush and wanted to get to tomorrow so fast (in hopes that they would be all I dreamt of), I overlooked many things. I never got to enjoy my life because I was so sure that the next day would bring me ultimate happiness. I know now that happiness is what you want it to be. I want to be happy, and I am going to be happy with how my life turned out.
Another thing I realized is that I was trying to change who I was to get to my happy place. No one should have to act a certain way or like certain music or look a certain way to make someone else happy or do it in hopes of achieving ultimate happiness themselves. I had tunnel vision and I thought I knew exactly how I wanted my life to be. I was wrong in that aspect. I wanted what I thought I could have, but was proved wrong when true colors were shown.
Whatever the case is, I was slammed with a lot over the past month, but I won't let it get me down. I found out that I am a lot stronger than I have ever been before, and knowing that is what is going to get me to the place in my life where I want to be...happy just being me.
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 7:59 PM
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