From here on out
How do you say goodbye, when the words won't seem to enter into your vocabulary? How do you let it all go, when memories and thoughts haunt your mind? How do you say I'm through, when you feel the fight is just beginning? How do you stop believing in hope, when hope is what got you through it all?
As I sit here typing, my mind is spinning with thoughts of what I want to say. I want to be poetic. I just want to bitch. I want to write something that everyone who reads it will comment on. I just want to say what I want to say, without hesitation or fear.
I feel like I have lost a huge piece of me. I feel like I am floating in space, drifting away from what I know. Looking back, the past doesn't seem as close to me as it once was. Instead of feeling like I can reach out and touch my memories, I feel like they are that little light at the end of the tunnel, that is slowly fading away. No matter how hard I want to run to that light, rekindle it and make it grow, I know I cannot. I got the answer I didn't want to hear, and I can do nothing about it, but move on. Take what I got as a learning experience. Understand NOW that after all this time, the things that were said were nothing but hurtful lies, and silly me, I fell for them hook, line and sinker.
At times, I feel a surge of strength and empowerment. I am too good to feel like this! I am too strong to break down. To let a dream go is like releasing a jar of fireflies into the night, and knowing that only fate may return it to you. But after all that was said, and knowing how little I meant, would fate be doing me a favor by bringing it all back? Thinking back to last year, I realize now that all my attempts and tries at making things all right was a battle that only I fought for! From day one, he never even tried, and yet I never gave up. I NEVER GAVE UP AND HE NEVER TRIED! That should tell me something, right?
My heart hurts, but I will get through this. The pain will subside and I will walk towards the light. I know, as well as everyone else in God's creation, that there is nothing else I could have done. I exhausted all possibilities, and in doing so, did all that I could do. That shows what being truly in love is. But there's no looking back now, only looking forward. And I will look towards each new day with a new found sense of hope and wonder, and a strong belief that what is meant to be will be. I will live each day knowing, that the greatest feeling I had ever felt and the greatest thing I had ever done was loved with all my heart. And one day, I know, I will be truly loved in return.
As I sit here typing, my mind is spinning with thoughts of what I want to say. I want to be poetic. I just want to bitch. I want to write something that everyone who reads it will comment on. I just want to say what I want to say, without hesitation or fear.
I feel like I have lost a huge piece of me. I feel like I am floating in space, drifting away from what I know. Looking back, the past doesn't seem as close to me as it once was. Instead of feeling like I can reach out and touch my memories, I feel like they are that little light at the end of the tunnel, that is slowly fading away. No matter how hard I want to run to that light, rekindle it and make it grow, I know I cannot. I got the answer I didn't want to hear, and I can do nothing about it, but move on. Take what I got as a learning experience. Understand NOW that after all this time, the things that were said were nothing but hurtful lies, and silly me, I fell for them hook, line and sinker.
At times, I feel a surge of strength and empowerment. I am too good to feel like this! I am too strong to break down. To let a dream go is like releasing a jar of fireflies into the night, and knowing that only fate may return it to you. But after all that was said, and knowing how little I meant, would fate be doing me a favor by bringing it all back? Thinking back to last year, I realize now that all my attempts and tries at making things all right was a battle that only I fought for! From day one, he never even tried, and yet I never gave up. I NEVER GAVE UP AND HE NEVER TRIED! That should tell me something, right?
My heart hurts, but I will get through this. The pain will subside and I will walk towards the light. I know, as well as everyone else in God's creation, that there is nothing else I could have done. I exhausted all possibilities, and in doing so, did all that I could do. That shows what being truly in love is. But there's no looking back now, only looking forward. And I will look towards each new day with a new found sense of hope and wonder, and a strong belief that what is meant to be will be. I will live each day knowing, that the greatest feeling I had ever felt and the greatest thing I had ever done was loved with all my heart. And one day, I know, I will be truly loved in return.


0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home