Thoughts of the Night
Wow. It has been quite the past couple months. Every time I want to write, something happens or comes up and I just don't feel the urge to. So while I have a moment of hazy clarity, I figured I would give it a shot.
Life. Is. Crazy. I mean just when you think you have a relatively good grasp on what's going on, something comes up and throws the groove way out of whack. Now this isn't always a bad thing, sometimes it's a really good thing. But the that's to be decided AFTER it happens and things get back on some kind of track.
So as always, I've been searching for "the one." I've been going as extreme as to try the online dating scene. Met 1 nice guys...and the rest were just all crazies. So I think this is where I'm just gonna pull a Carrie Underwood and say ok, "Jesus Take the Wheel." Time to leave this matter up to the higher beings that are out there. So God, the Cosmos, Karma, whomever, the matter is being left up to you now.
My dad had surgery a few weeks ago, and life since (and before) has been pretty rough. I'm not used to seeing my dad weak. I'm not used to seeing him not himself. But that's how it has been. It's scary, I won't lie. I hate seeing my mom sad. I hate seeing my dad look "old" to me. I hate not being able to do anything to make the situation right. It's definitely not cool. But healing takes times, for all of us. And I know this...but I was born without the virtue of patience.
So yea, it kinda feels like I'm at the bottom of a whirlpool. Or like I'm in the eye of a tornado and I am just watching everything swirl around me. But I'm not sure what move to make. What to do. Where to go. How to do anything. It's a very strange sense of calm I guess. I don't really know how else to say it. It's weird. And for once, I am speechless.
Life. Is. Crazy. I mean just when you think you have a relatively good grasp on what's going on, something comes up and throws the groove way out of whack. Now this isn't always a bad thing, sometimes it's a really good thing. But the that's to be decided AFTER it happens and things get back on some kind of track.
So as always, I've been searching for "the one." I've been going as extreme as to try the online dating scene. Met 1 nice guys...and the rest were just all crazies. So I think this is where I'm just gonna pull a Carrie Underwood and say ok, "Jesus Take the Wheel." Time to leave this matter up to the higher beings that are out there. So God, the Cosmos, Karma, whomever, the matter is being left up to you now.
My dad had surgery a few weeks ago, and life since (and before) has been pretty rough. I'm not used to seeing my dad weak. I'm not used to seeing him not himself. But that's how it has been. It's scary, I won't lie. I hate seeing my mom sad. I hate seeing my dad look "old" to me. I hate not being able to do anything to make the situation right. It's definitely not cool. But healing takes times, for all of us. And I know this...but I was born without the virtue of patience.
So yea, it kinda feels like I'm at the bottom of a whirlpool. Or like I'm in the eye of a tornado and I am just watching everything swirl around me. But I'm not sure what move to make. What to do. Where to go. How to do anything. It's a very strange sense of calm I guess. I don't really know how else to say it. It's weird. And for once, I am speechless.
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 6:16 PM
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