Said what needed to be said...
Well...Last night was interesting to say the least...Massive blowout like no other blow out before. Things were said that were incredibly hurtful and spiteful...but I guess I can't complain we said we need to work on communication and honesty.
The walking on eggshells and constantly sparring issue was addressed. And we both "blamed" each other for it. And that it needs to stop. I "nag" because that's the only way to get him to do something. I would do it myself but if you say "No I'll take care of it" then I expect it to get done. That's just me.
I stood strong. I said everything I had to say too. You want to leave? Fine, leave. But don't make me feel bad or guilty that the only reason you're staying in this "god-forsaken state" is because of me. If you want out so bad, then leave, I can make it.
Also said what I had to about marriage...I'm ready and don't get why he isn't. We have a house, stuff, we live together, it's JUST LIKE IT but minus the COMMITMENT (which is what I want). I also made him aware that the only reason I want to marry him is because I love him. He's in debt, so he can't think I want to marry him for money. I don't want to marry him for his family because they could give a fuck less about me. The reason I want to marry him is because I LOVE HIM. End of story. And if he can't understand that or see that, then it's his loss.
We both agreed if this is ever going to work, we're going to need to get on the same page. I told him this morning we'd talk when he got home. I don't know if he'll be thinking about this at all over the weekend, but I guarantee that it won't leave my mind.
He still left for Phillie...I was stupid to actually think that maybe, just maybe he'd stay.
He said he loves me. Loves me more than anything. Loves me and always wants to be with me. Promises that everything is going to be ok, we're going to keep building our love, our hopes, our dreams, our house...I hope so...
The walking on eggshells and constantly sparring issue was addressed. And we both "blamed" each other for it. And that it needs to stop. I "nag" because that's the only way to get him to do something. I would do it myself but if you say "No I'll take care of it" then I expect it to get done. That's just me.
I stood strong. I said everything I had to say too. You want to leave? Fine, leave. But don't make me feel bad or guilty that the only reason you're staying in this "god-forsaken state" is because of me. If you want out so bad, then leave, I can make it.
Also said what I had to about marriage...I'm ready and don't get why he isn't. We have a house, stuff, we live together, it's JUST LIKE IT but minus the COMMITMENT (which is what I want). I also made him aware that the only reason I want to marry him is because I love him. He's in debt, so he can't think I want to marry him for money. I don't want to marry him for his family because they could give a fuck less about me. The reason I want to marry him is because I LOVE HIM. End of story. And if he can't understand that or see that, then it's his loss.
We both agreed if this is ever going to work, we're going to need to get on the same page. I told him this morning we'd talk when he got home. I don't know if he'll be thinking about this at all over the weekend, but I guarantee that it won't leave my mind.
He still left for Phillie...I was stupid to actually think that maybe, just maybe he'd stay.
He said he loves me. Loves me more than anything. Loves me and always wants to be with me. Promises that everything is going to be ok, we're going to keep building our love, our hopes, our dreams, our house...I hope so...
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 12:02 PM
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