10 Year Reunion Angst!

So my 10 year reunion is on Saturday. And I was all gung-ho on going...that was until a really good friend (whom we were supposed to meet up with beforehand and then head to the reunion) said she wasn't able to make it. All of a sudden, I got a HORRIBLE feeling inside...we're talking NASTY...and then I realized....it was high school angst all over again!

I haven't had those feelings in 10 years! And WHAM, they were back again. It was quite scary. I mean, those feelings almost did me in once! I don't want to feel them again. And then I got upset, because I was upset about being upset (etc). Why the hell do I care? I mean, I didn't care what people thought back then, why should I care now??

But I think I want to go to be like hey, look at me now. I look better than I ever did, I have a wonderful boyfriend, I have an awesome job and a kick ass house...But there's still that evil twinge of nerves. What will people say....then round and round we go.

It seems that as time has gone on, I've lost that piece me that held my "whatever" attitude. I've lost the who f*ck you, this is who I am...I still have it, but it's not a 24/7 thing--which is a bummer on one hand, but on the other, it's a good thing, because I'm not crazy bitchy, lol.

So I dunno. I don't know if I have some weird social anxiety shit going on or what, but the thought of the reunion is seriously giving me heart palpitations AND the urge to drink...a lot. Hehehehe. We shall see. Another great friend said she'd meet up with us early, so I won't feel AS apprehensive...We shall see.

High school angst SUCKS!