Feeling So "Lost"

So I feel incredibly lost right now. I feel as though the carefree, rambunctious, crazy-fun, wildy-easy-going girl is hiding somewhere. I mean, I know I have had my share of self-esteem issues over the years, but I thought I good portion of those were behind me. And it's not even self-esteem issues that are making me feel lost, I just feel like I piece of the "me" I knew and loved has gone somewhere and I am not sure where to find her again.

Of course, this stems from something that happened last night. It wasn't anything bad. But I can't help but wonder why I felt so nervous or anxious. Could it be that hot-ass girls with bodies I could only dream to have were everywhere? Could it be that they all radiated an aura of self-confidence and carefreeness (is that even a word?!?) I don't know. But I guess everything happens for a reason, because it just gave me a whole new perspective on everything.

Ooooo the wheels in my mind are spinning about a billion RPM, and I highly doubt they will slow down at any point. This could be a good thing. Or it could be a bad thing. I guess we will just have to see, right? Sadly I don't see a solution to the "issue" or problem that is bothering me. I feel like I'm just swimming in my thoughts and I can't seem to grasp on to anything. Like even now, I am cognisant of the things around me, but I have that weird dream feeling where I'm not really here, or things aren't really happening around me, but they are. So strange. So crazy. I wonder if this is how a possessed person feels. Hearing their voice and answers to questions people ask, but not feeling as if it is truly them doing the talking? Whoa, absolutely mind-boggling...