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Why do I feel so sad? I don't know. I seriously hate this feeling. I'm not sad-sad, just not feeling smiley or social. And that seriously sucks. I don't mean to blow off friends, but I really just don't feel like talking. I don't feeling "OMG'ing" and making small talk and just catching up. I just want to sit here, get lost in my own little world and stay lost for a while. Yes, that would be the life.

I tried writing last night...poetry...but I seemed to have lost my fire. I wish I still had it, and maybe I do, but it is definitely being locked away somewhere. I said it before, that I used to do my best writings when in stages of emotional decay and turbulence, and I am not in a stage like that, nor have I been for many moons. And I don't want to be in a stage like that ever again...WTF is wrong with me!?

Maybe I just need a good cry. A good cry to wash out everything. That might be the key. Too bad it's not gonna happen for a while...Who knows when or if it will happen...*Sigh* I wish I had a clue what was going on with this ole head of mine. I really think I need to just get lost in my mind for a while, and then maybe I will see what is beneath the surface that is bogging me down, haunting my thoughts and eating away at my soul.