Christmas just isn't Christmas...

Ya know, this just doesn't feel like Christmas to me. There was this whole excited build-up, and now that it's here...It just doesn't feel like what it was meant to.

I know I need to live for the now and enjoy the now and everyone I am with. Just because I "didn't get my way" doesn't mean I have to sulk and drown in my sadness. But it's tough not to, ya know? The one thing I wanted for Christmas and wished for for Christmas and was told would happen for Christmas, I got word back a couple weeks ago that it wouldn't happen. I guess maybe that triggered my anti-holiday sentiment. Which is silly, I know... It's just *sigh*.

I feel like I am being me-me-me. Which isn't cool. And I feel like a spoiled brat for it. But I'm not! I am so schitzo with my thoughts. It's like the inner war is waging...yet again.

Oh well. Can't change anything. No matter how much I wish I could. So I will just enjoy the time we have now and not let the rest get me down. As Browns fans say, there's always next year. And next year, what I "want" was promised to me...So that's something to look forward to....