A blog reflection
It's funny. I look back over my posts from 2004 and 2005 and my writings sound so different than they do today. Yes, I know things were a lot different then, but it's just amazing the tonality and style of writing I used. Let me try and explain.
I feel as though "way back then," I wrote with more passion, with more feeling, more emotion more ooomph! Now, it's almost like I am simply blogging, adding to my online journal of thought. I'd like to get back to writing the way I used to, but I believe the way I wrote then was influenced by what was happening at the time. In those days, I was sad, upset and confused. I made a mistake, I fessed up to it, yet nothing seemed to rectify like it should have (yes, I know now that things happened the way they did to get me to where I am today, but bare with me...). When I was depressed, I was able to put out that sadness through my words, but now that I am not in that same state of mind anymore, it's almost tough for me to do that.
Anymore, I am not as sad by things that happen in my life, as I am upset by them. Upset for the reason that things/situations that are obvious to me, go unnoticed by others. Acceptance is important to me right now, not by randoms or friends of friends, but by the people that I hold near and dear to my heart, yet who seem to hold me at LEAST at an arms length away. But as the newer of the mantras goes...if it's not enough to bother him, I won't let it bother me. Right? Right.
And there I go again, babbling away in journal form. One day, perhaps I'll get back in the groove of writing the way I loved to, but hopefully without having to go through the turmoil and pain that brought me to that place.
I feel as though "way back then," I wrote with more passion, with more feeling, more emotion more ooomph! Now, it's almost like I am simply blogging, adding to my online journal of thought. I'd like to get back to writing the way I used to, but I believe the way I wrote then was influenced by what was happening at the time. In those days, I was sad, upset and confused. I made a mistake, I fessed up to it, yet nothing seemed to rectify like it should have (yes, I know now that things happened the way they did to get me to where I am today, but bare with me...). When I was depressed, I was able to put out that sadness through my words, but now that I am not in that same state of mind anymore, it's almost tough for me to do that.
Anymore, I am not as sad by things that happen in my life, as I am upset by them. Upset for the reason that things/situations that are obvious to me, go unnoticed by others. Acceptance is important to me right now, not by randoms or friends of friends, but by the people that I hold near and dear to my heart, yet who seem to hold me at LEAST at an arms length away. But as the newer of the mantras goes...if it's not enough to bother him, I won't let it bother me. Right? Right.
And there I go again, babbling away in journal form. One day, perhaps I'll get back in the groove of writing the way I loved to, but hopefully without having to go through the turmoil and pain that brought me to that place.
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 9:29 PM
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