Tryin too hard...

So I was told something this weekend that I already knew, but it was tough to grasp only because of who said it to me...My mom and I were talking and she made a comment that I always, ever since I was a little girl, I always try to please everybody, regardless of how I feel or what I think. And at times, I don't think that's a bad thing, but then the follow-up to what she said did get me..."there comes a time when you need to say enough is enough and do what you truly feel you want to do." I'll admit, I was definitely taken back, because I never connected the dots like that.

I mean, here I am, doing my best to be the best person I can be and pleasing everyone I hold near and dear to my heart...And in essence, I have neglected doing the things or saying the things that I truly want to do or to say. How do I change from that? It really, really, REALLY got to me because I have no idea how the heck to change something like that. All my life, I have been one way, how do I make a 180?

Albeit, not EVERYTHING I do goes against how I feel inside...But I guess there's a good portion. I don't say things, I don't bring stuff up, I try not to make waves where waves need not be made...Maybe I do really try and please everybody...

I don't think I can stop myself from striving to make everyone happy. I don't think I can do something like that. Yeargh. Now I'm just babbling and repeating myself. OK I'm done, more to come (oh yea, another to be continued...)