Just once...

I don't get upset that there is stuff going on, I get upset because it feels like I have to get penciled in early and work around everyone's schedules in an attempt to actually spend/have quality time together. I don't have that many friends. I don't have that many acquaintances. When it comes to going out and doing stuff (bars, amusement parks, parties, chill-out time) I have come to realize, I DON'T! But I would like to!
I'd love to NOT have to ask months ahead of time "hey, are you busy this weekend because I'd like to go..."! I'd love for ONCE to just not feel second best or like I have to compete...Just once...