Kinda rough day

Well, maybe I was just asking for it when I semi-forced myself to write something last night? I don't know what was up today. Summer solstice came in and HOLY HELL, my day got massively thrown outta whack!! I took things the wrong way and got the day off to a rough start. Then throughout the day, I kept feeling like an emotional basket case. I was doing good, good, good, then WHAM, it was like a roundhouse kick to the face. I just got sad and upset. I have no "good" reason to feel that way, but I did. My doorman friend made a comment about everyday being a blessing, so that was kinda ironic, because it was just a little while before that that I hit my downward spiral.

I think I may go to bed early tonight. I don't like doing that too often, because if I get too much sleep on a weeknight, I tend to have a crappy day the next day. But, I might just have to do that. Maybe it'll give my mind a little time to wear itself down. That'll be the day, lol.

I must say this, a couple Sundays ago, I woke with the greatest feeling in the world. I think I had somehow tapped into my unconscious and my subconscious, and I was just in total peace. It was almost like a dream, but I knew I was awake. I was holding Bman's hand too, that just added to the happiness. I can't explain it really. I wish I could, but it was just a feeling I don't think I have ever felt before, and if I did, it was in a deep sleep, one that I cannot recall. A feeling of total and utter contentment, almost like I had no cares or worries in the world. I hope one day though, I can feel it again.