Memories Trigger Emotions
Ok, so I have been pretty upset lately. Part of it stems from the joys of being female (a good majority of it actually), part of it stems from the stress of day to day life, and the other significant portion comes from something that I have just recently figured out what it was.
Everyday things and tasks are triggering memories of WONDERFUL times past, and when these thoughts are triggered, I inadvertently get upset. I try not to, because since they were excellent times, why should one be sad over them? I guess it all comes down to the fact that those times are PAST and that it seems like they can't be duplicated or re-done with the way things are today. For example, my best friend and I were talking about the parties we used to have every weekend, the ones with 10-15 people, and nowadays, we don't even know 10-15 to invite. We barely have 5 over (and that's even a stretch)!
It's just sad to think about it, that we once believed we had all these "die-hard" friends, and now, we don't speak to any of them. Yes, one could argue that we should call them or try to keep in contact, but it takes two to tango. I can admit that I've tried to keep in contact with people, but when they want to hold themselves above me and don't speak to me because they feel they are better than me, what more can I do? I lost many through a stupid mistake, but at least I can admit that I am human and I did screw up, but most importantly, that I am totally and utterly sorry for it! I tried to rekindle what I could, but when they spit in my face, I guess I can do no more. I can't let that be held over me for forever either, and I believe that many of them would.
It's just a rough patch right now. Guess it's the time of year and all the stuff that usually happens. It's seeing pictures that spark a thought. It's hearing announcements on the radio or seeing different websites for places I used to go, that gets my mind running. It's knowing that this year isn't going to be like years past, which in a way is a good thing because it's totally unknown and new, but a "bad" thing, because it's not the way it "should" be. Again, what can ya do though? I just try to keep remembering that the good memories are meant to be remembered as good, and I shouldn't feel sad because they aren't here, but happy and lucky, because I did get to experience them.
Everyday things and tasks are triggering memories of WONDERFUL times past, and when these thoughts are triggered, I inadvertently get upset. I try not to, because since they were excellent times, why should one be sad over them? I guess it all comes down to the fact that those times are PAST and that it seems like they can't be duplicated or re-done with the way things are today. For example, my best friend and I were talking about the parties we used to have every weekend, the ones with 10-15 people, and nowadays, we don't even know 10-15 to invite. We barely have 5 over (and that's even a stretch)!
It's just sad to think about it, that we once believed we had all these "die-hard" friends, and now, we don't speak to any of them. Yes, one could argue that we should call them or try to keep in contact, but it takes two to tango. I can admit that I've tried to keep in contact with people, but when they want to hold themselves above me and don't speak to me because they feel they are better than me, what more can I do? I lost many through a stupid mistake, but at least I can admit that I am human and I did screw up, but most importantly, that I am totally and utterly sorry for it! I tried to rekindle what I could, but when they spit in my face, I guess I can do no more. I can't let that be held over me for forever either, and I believe that many of them would.
It's just a rough patch right now. Guess it's the time of year and all the stuff that usually happens. It's seeing pictures that spark a thought. It's hearing announcements on the radio or seeing different websites for places I used to go, that gets my mind running. It's knowing that this year isn't going to be like years past, which in a way is a good thing because it's totally unknown and new, but a "bad" thing, because it's not the way it "should" be. Again, what can ya do though? I just try to keep remembering that the good memories are meant to be remembered as good, and I shouldn't feel sad because they aren't here, but happy and lucky, because I did get to experience them.
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 2:51 PM
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