Why me?!

I don't understand.

I don't understand what it is that I have done that is so wrong. I don't understand why people act the way they do. Why the say things the way they do. Why they say the things they do, to me. I don't get it!!!

My stomach is a wreck. I feel like I could bawl at any second, and there is no stopping it. Well, I hope there will be a stop soon. I thought I teared out all that I could, but I didn't. There's still more. And why is there more? Is it for me? No. It's not. It's because I in no way want to hurt someone else on my own accord. Is it inevitable? I don't know. I don't want to anger, upset, hurt, piss off, WHATEVER insert word here ...Because that ISN'T me.

I pride myself on being real. I don't act for other people. I don't try to impress people or buy other people's affection. That's not me. I do things for others because that is what is in my heart to do!!!! I don't buy gifts for people to show-off, I do it because if I am out and I see something that reminds me of someone or I feel that they would like it, I buy it. End of story. You don't need a special occasion to buy someone a gift.

I don't know. I just don't know. It boggles the mind, and hurts the soul.