End of the Year...

2005 is quickly coming to a close, and I really don't know how to feel about it. The past two years have collectively been the hardest and worst years of my life. Not every aspect of them was bad, mind you, but the events that occurred will leave a permanent scar. Not only did I lose the love of my life, most of my "friends" and two very important figures (sadly the loss of these figures is eternal), but I also lost a piece of myself. With everything that had happened, I lost the part of me that was responsible for the feelings and appreciation of not just self-worth, but self-being. Luckily, as I pick up the pieces from a shattered life and dream (using this phrase to sound over dramatic) I am able to think of all the great things.

I've decided, though I barely ever heed my own advice, to not cry because it's over, but to smile because it happened. It's too easy to focus on the hardships and the things that are wrong with your life, and to completely overlook the good that's there. Even though in my mind, I lost it all, I really haven't. I have my health, wonderful parents and family, the best friends a girl could ever imagine, and also knowledge gained from everything that occurred. I know some things that I never could have known or realized, had I not gone through what I did---they'll be in an upcoming blog.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think and hope 2006 is a better year than the past couple. I think it will be, because the life I was leading had crashed and burned, but I rose up from those ashes. I am new person, same on the inside that I've always been, but a new person with a new outlook on life. There's 16 days until the end of 2005, and with the closing of this year, I hope to leave behind all the pain and sorrow that has plagued me for so long. 2006 is a new year, filled with new experiences and endless possibilities, and I am welcoming it with open arms.