Attraction? What is this? Part 1

A friend and I had an interesting conversation earlier this week about the "rules of attraction". What is it that makes one attracted to another, especially when it comes to a first date and or meeting?
It was agreed upon that guys have a different thought process than girls when it comes to having feelings for someone. I believe, as does she, that the first things we may notice in a new person are their physical characteristics. The conclusion was made, though, that guys dwell most on that when they first meet someone, whereas girls like to get to know them better to be able to say "yes I am attracted to you". I mean, think about it!
On the average, a guy will not ask out a girl based on her IQ or ideas and thoughts on life, they base their initial feelings on what they look like. Yes, in a club or bar scene, it's kind of hard to get into an in depth conversation, so looks are what both parties must base their decision on of whether or not to ask the other out. But what is it that makes someone attracted to another person?
I think it's more of a feeling than anything else. I know I am attracted, and or falling hard for someone, when I get the butterflies at the thought of going out with them. When I feel nervous getting together, even after the awkwardness of the first date. When my heart flutters when the phone rings, and the caller ID says their name, that is how I know. But is it the same for everyone? Is it a feeling or is it more of a thought? I just don't know. We never came to a TOTAL conclusion, but it definitely gave me something to think about.
Or what is it that makes us remain attracted to someone, even after things went sour? Is it the awesome memories that make it almost impossible to forget the person? Is it the inability to hate who they are, because deep down we still "love" them? Or is it an uncontrollable force that takes over our minds and hearts and doesn't let us let go? A new side-branch of this food for thought blog is what I have run into contact with.
Who knows anymore? I think that the hardest part of getting over someone is when a person hits a wall, like I did, and realizes, "I can't remember how to forget that person".

One of those nights

And so it is, I cannot remember how to forget you. It's like an evil curse that I have put on myself. Everything that is, seems like it isn't. I want to swallow myself and choke. I cannot explain this feeling, but it is there and there is nothing that I can do to stop it. But why? Why must I torture myself and feel this agony, when there are ways to end it??? But what if the paths I choose aren't the paths I am meant to take? Then what?? Do I wade through mindless, self-doubt and wonder the what if's? Or do I move past that and wonder what could be? I just don't know. I don't know why I write this. I don't know why I open myself to anyone who reads this. I guess I just want to say what I feel, without worries of repercussion and without the fear of what anyone will say. No one responds to such writings, but that's what makes it so much easier to write. HA-HA! I dunno what else to say now. So I guess this is it.

Two years ago...

Two years gone by, and it seems like just yesterday all my "dreams" would come true. I got the proposal of a lifetime, and it seemed like there wasn't anything that couldn't be done. I was going to say "I do" to a life that I thought would be perfect... It's amazing how many things shifted, how many things changed, how what I once thought were the strongest and most undeniable feelings, turned out to be nothing more than nothing at all. Though I wasn't alone in having such a change of heart, it 's still and odd thing to have to deal with. Strength is a weakness at times, because to feel so strong in my convictions means I have to remember the past, and the pain that the memories bring back can feel unbearable.
Every so often I wish to have my life back. I want to relive the past few years and change some things so that there would be no "mistakes" and no "regrets", but then I have to force myself to realize, that everything happens for a reason, and without such "mistakes" and "regrets", I wouldn't be the person I am today. I have accomplished many things and have grown a lot as a person, so I guess I shouldn't feel remorse at all. No matter what I may think, had the past year or two not happened, it would have happened later in life.
I don't know what I'm trying to say. I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish by blogging this. I think that I'm just hoping that by saying all this, I will give myself another shot of strength and another feeling of contentment to get me through this rough patch of life. I am who I am, and I can't, nor do I want, to change that.