Can we say confused???
Alright. So life is just royally fucked up right now. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it's just seven shades of insanity.
In a nutshell, I have someone who is willing to give me the world....but something is keeping me from taking it. I have no idea what it is. I asked for time, which I have been granted, but I don't understand why I'm so hesitant to take it. I mean, THIS IS IT! Someone who puts me first. Someone who wants to/does nice things for me, just because. Someone who wants to get married and make babies. Etc. etc. So what the hell is my deal??
He asked if I was over my last relationship, and I most assuredly said yes, but then he asked me again, and I think I might have faltered. Not that I'm not over it, but perhaps I'm just not ready to get back into something so deep so fast? Who knows. Again, luckily I've been granted time, in that he'd wait for me until I'm ready. And he's cool with taking it slow (which I am very adamant about). But I just can't understand myself. He is EVERYTHING I wished for in a man...So what am I so tweaked about?!?!
Like today, I started hyperventilating because he was downtown and I felt like I should invite him to see my office but I wasn't sure I was ready for him to see my office (and meet people along the way). But why? He's already met my friends and family. So what's the big deal? I DON'T KNOW!!! CONFUSION!!!
In a nutshell, I have someone who is willing to give me the world....but something is keeping me from taking it. I have no idea what it is. I asked for time, which I have been granted, but I don't understand why I'm so hesitant to take it. I mean, THIS IS IT! Someone who puts me first. Someone who wants to/does nice things for me, just because. Someone who wants to get married and make babies. Etc. etc. So what the hell is my deal??
He asked if I was over my last relationship, and I most assuredly said yes, but then he asked me again, and I think I might have faltered. Not that I'm not over it, but perhaps I'm just not ready to get back into something so deep so fast? Who knows. Again, luckily I've been granted time, in that he'd wait for me until I'm ready. And he's cool with taking it slow (which I am very adamant about). But I just can't understand myself. He is EVERYTHING I wished for in a man...So what am I so tweaked about?!?!
Like today, I started hyperventilating because he was downtown and I felt like I should invite him to see my office but I wasn't sure I was ready for him to see my office (and meet people along the way). But why? He's already met my friends and family. So what's the big deal? I DON'T KNOW!!! CONFUSION!!!
posted by Ill-Fated Butterfly at 2:47 PM
2 Comments:
You will be endlessly miserable as long as you continue to overthink all of this stuff. If you're really the way you write, you appear incapable of living outside of your head, and this will cause you to be unhappy.
Ouch. Way to be anonymous. Just so you know, I write so that I CAN live outside my head. Writing is an outlet for me. The reason I have a blog is so that I can "get it all out there" and not worry about internalizing stuff. Sounds like from your comment/opinion you might speak from experience--good luck with finding your happiness.
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