Quote of the day...*SMACK*

Dali said it best..."Have no fear of perfection. You'll never reach it."

DAMN! Can we say roundhouse kick to the soul?!?! I absolutely love this quote. Reading it gives me chills. I mean, holy hell. BAM! In yo face!

I'm still in awe.

Ok, composure semi-regained. Anywho, not to sound shady, but people who over-motivate seriously annoy me. And maybe I'm just being bitchy this week (yes, more than likely). So stupid little things are getting under my skin something fierce! Not a good thing. It seems to be making up for lost time. Yeargh.

Ok I'm done.

Untitled...for once...

So I found a couple pictures from back in the day...and my heart started to hurt. It started to hurt, because I remember how life was back then...carefree...semi-annoyance free...It felt there was a tomorrow, there was a future that was bigger than anything we had ever experienced. But what happens when you get to that "future" you once upon a time believed in...and it isn't what you expected?

Well, that's the boat I'm in right now. I'm feeling kinda lost. And I don't like that. And I don't know how to make this feeling go away, which doesn't make things any easier.

I guess a part of me feels like my life is pretty much stuck in limbo...the thing(s) that I want most are out of my reach or control, and that makes me feel helpless. And at times, I feel so alone...like no one understands...*sigh* Such is life I guess.

Feelings as of late....

Man-o-man, what a freakin mercury retrograde this month! Can we say emotionally unhinged? Oh yes. EMOTIONALLY UNHINGED. I hope it goes away post-haste, because I am really not in the mood to deal with how I've been feeling lately. It sucks.



I hate doubt. I hate not being 100% sure of anything. I can't even make up my freakin' mind when it comes to deciding if I want to drink water or milk with dinner! Aye aye aye. I do feel a slight but more in control today than I was this weekend though, so that is a very good thing.



One thing that has been bothering me, and I don't mean to sound materialistic or needy, but every-so-often I just want to get a "just because" gift. A special little something. Be it the shirt I saw at Target that I said I liked or just a card that says "thinking about you," and I don't want to have to ask for it. It always seems like I have to bring this kind of stuff up, and then it's only being done because I requested it. I want it to happen because he wants to do it, not because I had to ask--is that bad? Or wrong?



Sometimes being the "always think about other people first" kind of person wears me down. Sometimes I just want to be selfish and think only of myself (or at least try to). But that never lasts more than a minute nor does it work. Because I start feeling guilty and then get mad at myself for it! Yeargh. I just want to feel like gold, ya know? And I do sometimes...but I want to feel that way all the time...

And then it hit me!

Though this is not what I felt like blogging about tonight, it is something that I wanted to write about briefly, but just didn't have the time until now.

Ok, so I figured it out! I figured out how/why life feels so different from the way it used to be!!! And yes, perhaps this is a "no duh" kind of thing. I do wonder if it has ALWAYS been this obvious and apparent or what! So the big difference is...back in the day, the "fun" days of yore, we worked all day and after hours was our time to be social butterflies. After hours was the time when life happened!

In this day and age, our lives happen at work! After hours don't hold the same great meaning or fun that they once did. In essence, work has consumed all that we are! And I don't mean that in the weird "omg, there is no life aside from work life" way, I just mean that anymore, our work day is where our days happen.

Albeit, back in the day, it was nice to know that when work was done, the fun would begin. But everything happens at work---drama, romance, comedy, action, etc etc. No one has time to go out and get stupid on a work night anymore (I am trying to change my habit of that...but haven't really succeeded).

Oh well, I'm just excited that I finally figured it out! Go me. It only took like 5 years to come to a conclusion that was right in front of my nose the whole time. Perhaps it was an acceptance thing, and I have just now accepted it...