What if the world ends in 2012...

I was talking to a friend I work with about the world ending in 2012, all the theories, the myths, the stories, the legends...and I wonder...What if the world does end in 2012.

The facts are all there. So many different religions, civilizations, and beliefs all say something HUGE is going to happen in 2012. Nostradamus predicted some sort of asteroid. The Chinese say it's the end of history. The Mayans foretold of earth's final day. The Hopi Indians see a great purification of earth. The bible spoke of the apocalypse...It just seems too coincidental to NOT be true, or at least, be in some part true.

I hope that by that time, I am a couple years into marriage. I don't want to be just one out of the mass couples who rush to wed, just to say they did it.

It really is a brain thumper. Who knows what will happen, but it's kind of scary to think about. Y2K wasn't scary, because it was all technology-based issues. But 2012...there's so much "supporting evidence" that it's going to be something bad...SPOOKY!

New Outlook

Ok, so I'm trying to make a go at a new and improved outlook on life. I had a horoscope that hit pretty spookily that said something to the effect of "not putting everything into a schedule format" and "just go with the flow" so that is what I am trying to do. I know I like to have a good handle on what's going on and when, but it's just because when I don't, it feels like everything just goes all crazy. The weekend that I have NADA to do is the weekend that EVERYONE wants to do something different. It's just insane.

And I know I drive people crazy by constantly trying to get a fix on the events of a week, but it's just because I don't really have that much stuff going. I don't have a stable Monday night is this night, Wednesday night I do this...My weeknights are all up in the air depending, ya know?

I'm also trying to not internalize so much and speak out when I have an issue. Yes, I've been preaching that one for a while, but I really need to. I get so upset at the fact that what I say may bother someone I love, that I just don't say it at all...and then it boils and brews inside me and then WHAM, it just erupts. I'm hoping it doesn't get to that point, but it might. Another thing is, I don't like getting answers I don't like (no, I'm not spoiled like that, I just know how hard I take everything so when I'm faced with a situation where I think the answer I get for asking a question may not be the one I hope for, I don't ask it--which indeed is stupid, but...I can't help it).

One of my friends teases me because she wants to know where the bull-headed, head-strong, out-spoken girl she used to know went. It's hard to explain. Maybe all the life experiences I went through changed that girl into someone who watches was she says because she doesn't want to even chance hurting someone...Yeargh. I dunna.

In time I guess, right? One day at a time I gotta take these changes, and see where I can go from there. There are a few things that I'm gonna have to talk about, because it always seems that after something is said, LONG AFTER, you figure out how you really wanted to respond. Something came up last week, and I just got shell-shocked and didn't say what I thought. I think I need to.

Anywho, I guess that's that. Time to go mull over other stuff and see how I can un-internalize it ;-)

VENT!

Ya know what sucks? Being pissed off. Ya know what sucks even more? Being pissed off for no reason. Ya know what sucks even more than that?! Being pissed off because of stupid shite that goes on in your head that is NOT reality, but could be, but isn't, yet nonetheless makes you angry. THAT is what sucks.

My night is definitely a moody one. I am letting a LOT of stuff get to me that I REALLY wish I wouldn't but at this present moment in time, I can't do a GD thing about it. AHhhhhhhhhhhhh.

What the hell is wrong with me? I mean really. I used to be able to handle myself, and anymore, I feel positively out of control...Ok, not really, I just wanted to say that for dramatic effect. There's a piece of me that feels I let people down a lot, and I hate that piece. What triggers it? Well I know what triggered it this time, and it's minute and trivial and SO not worth my time, yet I let it get under my skin and grow and grow and grow until I just want to scream!!!!

Yeargh, yeargh I say. I don't know what else to say...grrrrr