Fuck people

Really? Fuckin really? How am I to deal with this shit? I just don't get it. I mean really. Something so small and innocent and what I deemed as FUCKING HILARIOUS could turn into something so blown out of proportion!! What the fuck!?!??! God almighty, I am not equipped to deal with this shit.

It's hard enough wondering what other people's friends think about you. It's a whole other ballgame KNOWING how they feel. That's why I refrain from saying exactly what my friends think. Yes, when you love someone, you love them and tell them everything...within reason. Some things are better left unsaid. Sometimes, the minimal detail (as long as its the truth) is the best. Telling me that your friends warned you that I'm a "party girl," be it the truth or not. Is just SHITTY!!!

I know I need to get over it, but there's a game being played and I don't appreciate it. I also don't appreciate being called out on "why do your always turn it into a 'game being played?'" Because it is one! It's always something to make me out to be the bad guy. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Ohhhh fuck Mondays and the horse they rode in on. (I think this post is the most action-packed swear word post to date!)

Quick thought....

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture. And save it from the funny choice of time. Slipping through my fingers all the time...

It's allllll gooood.

So meeting the daughter wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. Yes, I was nervous as all hell because, well, I've never dated someone with a kid before. But she was just so unbelievably funny and sweet and just all around awesome.

I don't know how to explain the feeling. I think I kinda feel like I beat the highest level of a game that I have ever been to...and am now at a whole new level. It's kinda really cool actually. And as long as I stop myself from over-thinking, I'm ok. When I start to think too much, now THAT is when it all goes to shit.

But I think I've been doing really good with it. I mean, when I start, I am pretty good about shutting it off. Just need to stay on top of that and keep myself in check. Because I LOVE LIFE when I'm not worrying about it so much. LOVE IT!

People SUCK

The past is the past for a reason, and I pretty fucking pissed mine keeps getting brought up! My past is NO ONE'S BUSINESS BUT MY OWN. No one has a right to talk about me. No one has the right to "warn" others. It's defamation of character!!! I am NOT the same girl I was years ago. Not by a long shot. But it doesn't seem to matter. Everyone's going to think of me as the girl I was and not give a damn that I am SO not her anymore!!

GOD DAMNIT. I don't understand what the fuck the deal is! I mean seriously! Am I THAT interesting and or important that everything from way back when needs to get dredged up?? Seriously?!

The Notebook

Well shut my mouth wide open...I never wanted to do it. I never wanted to give in to the female hysteria and watch The Notebook...but I did. I started mid-movie and SWEET JESUS, it is a total chic flick to he extreme...but GOD DAMN is it a heart-touching movie! I can't help but watch it. I can't help but get wrapped in the story line...


(He mentioned the movie to me. He said that the way Noah feels about Allie is the way he feels about me...and I actually feel that. It's crazy, but I feel it...about us...)

However it just hit the end of the movie and I am bawling like a freaking baby! Damn these girlie romance movies and all their mushiness! So cute! So sad! So heart-touching! So ahhhhhhhhh!