Rough week ahoy...

Ohhhhh it's going to be a rough week. I know it's just because it's "that" week, but it doesn't make it any easier. I keep thinking back, getting those emotional wooshes of happiness that inevitably turn to a painful sting. Again, I know it was the right thing to do, but that doesn't mean I can't miss him or us on occasion.

I can't help but wonder if he feels the same way. Not like it would change anything. Not like it would do anything. But at least, I don't know, I'd feel better knowing he did? Yes, it's gay. Yes, I'm being stupid girl. But it's just that inner female in me that wants me to know that it's kinda tough on him too. That yes, he thinks of me sometimes and feels the same sting. I'm not trying to sound like I want him crying himself to sleep at night thinking of me (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO). But I just, I don't know, feel like it'd make me feel better knowing that what we had WAS real to him?

Oh stupid babbling and I'm not even drinking! Night one no adult beverage! Insanity.

It doesn't help that his bday is next Monday either and I had the flash of excitement of what kind of cake I'd bake him or what I'd get him as a gift. *sigh* Damn femaleness.