A quick laugh at myself

I am a goose. No really. I am a goose. I have decided that. I get so over-dramatic over such minute, little, trivial things...It is INSANE! I mean really, I let so much little crap bother me, so much that I shouldn't, but I have always been used to it being a bothersome thing, that I don't know how to alter-react. So again, as I have promised in blogs past, I am going to work on that...And this time, I'm gonna DO IT!!! Boo-ya!

I am a nut. LOL. But at least I am getting better at laughing at myself and not judging me too harshly when it comes to this kinda stuff. Progress comes in the form of babysteps, but it is indeed progress nonetheless.

(I swear, reading back over these blogs, I feel like I should write a self-help book)

Venting at work AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

Really, really, REALLY...PEOPLE NEED TO PISS OFF! I'm sick of the questions! I'm sick of having to answer! No, I'm not going tonight. No, I wasn't invited. Why? I'd assumed it was boys night, do NOT make me feel bad by pressing the issue! I'm cool with that. I have no issues with that. But the constant barrage of questions and the "aren't you upset? you should come anyway" is NOT making me feel any better!!!

I am so not in the mood for this today.

Quick at-work vent

It's sad to say that it's not so much the big things in life that get complicated, but the little things. I don't like having to ask for time. I don't like having to walk away because I know if I don't I will cry. I don't like feeling like I come second-best (because I know that I am not considered that). It's just tough. I've never really been through anything that I wasn't in control of 100% of the time. I never really had to ask, had to walk, had to feel, the way I sometimes do.

It's communication that pulls me through on this one. I need to be more open, so I am more open. I need to be more forthcoming with all my requests and thoughts. I can't hold this stuff in. I've held stuff in long enough and I can't and won't do it anymore. I've never been needy, and I don't think wanting to spend time with someone I care about more than one work-night is asking too much. I'm glad he agrees too.

Guess that's it.

Bad Dream (with addendum comment)

I had a bad dream. I had a really bad dream about you, and about me. It's a little before 5am and I am awake, wide awake. My stomach is in knots. I know when I tell you about it, you're going to laugh and tell me, "it was just a dream, nothing more." But oh my God, I felt the weight of the world come crashing down on my shoulders. I really do feel sick. I'm still shaking, and I can't make it stop. I feel like a little kid who had a nightmare in the middle of the night at a sleepover or in a strange place. I'm too scared to get up and call anyone, and all I can do cry and just pray that the morning comes fast so I can get out of here.

They say the mind is a beautiful thing, sometimes I think mine is the opposite.

ADDENDUM:
Ok, the time is now 6:45am, and while at the gym, still upset, still feeling like I was going to lose it at any given moment, I realized something, I AM AN IDIOT. It was a dream! A stupid dream at that! I know my hunny loves me!!! Why the hell am I upset?!?! It was a stupid, NOT REAL dream and I cannot believe I let it bother me. F U dream!! YOU'RE NOT REAL!!!! HA! FACE!