Am I?

Am I that vile? Am I that much of a horrible person? Am I that evil of a creature...? All of a sudden, the questions and thoughts start to sink in.

I apologized for being jealous. I apologized for being mean. I apologized for being, as some called, "mean." But does it matter? Has it fallen upon deaf ears?

The hardest part of my night is knowing that the I cannot answer these questions. I don't know that there are answers. It's more a random thought that crossed my mind while I had a few seconds to think to myself.

I think back to a year ago, and how many things were different...How many things are the same. The same in that they are what they are now...I just didn't know. So strange. Such a quandry. Such is my life...