Here we go again

I'm scared. I'm really scared. Scared of making the wrong decision for the right reasons, scared of making the right decision for the wrong reasons. I'm at such a crazy crossroads, such a conundrum. I don't know what to do.

The problem, I know, is I'm holding on to the past. I'm holding onto the FUN, the excitement, the kink, the awesomeness. But I'm also disregarding the bad. I'm also not thinking clearly. I'm also so fucking confused!

It shouldn't be this tough, which is why I think maybe this isn't it. But then I think I'm just being me and over-thinking, over-analyzing, over-evertyhinging!

Do I really want to chance losing a forever, to get back a fun past? A past that has no future? BAH