Could it be?

Could it be? Could it really truly be?

As night falls and my mind begins to roam, chewing over thoughts and hopes, aspirations and dreams, I cannot help but wonder...Could this really be? Everything that I have ever wanted to feel, everything that I have ever longed to have, is here. No matter how sad, upset, depressed or unsettled I am, one thought comes to mind, and I no longer hurt. He makes me feel real again, no longer just a fleck of dust floating through sunlit shadows. The future no longer looks bleak and intimidating.

It's nice being able to feel, to actually sense and taste and breathe the day-to-day happenings, instead of closing myself to them for fear of what they hold. To wake up, and within a matter of milliseconds, crack a little smile, because what I fell asleep thinking about, I got the pleasure of waking up to as well. Life may not always be candy canes and lollipops, but even when it's at its "worst", I think of that one special thing, and he is sweet enough to make the bitterness disappear...

Coasting...

My life is on auto-pilot, yet no one is in the cockpit.
I flit and I fleet, flailing through the future yesterdays,
grabbing on to the memories I have not yet had.
I breathe the hopes of tomorrow, inhaling deep scents
of lavender and sage, Diesel and what may come next.
I feel as though I am tasting everything for the first time
through opened eyes and an awakened soul.
Wading into the waters of that which is,
yet never knowing the depths of the abyss in which I swim.
I wind up floating in the middle of some great body of liquid silk,
caressing my skin and soothing my senses.
But which horizon do I choose to swim towards?
Where do I chance my life taking direction, when I feel,
as though my life has taken great shape and knows which way to move?
I sigh a sense of fear, a tear drop of nerves
rolls down a rosy cheek, and I cannot help but stare...
Far out into the morning sky.
I grab a hold of the Dipper, and flip myself up onto its handle,
cuddling with Ursa and reaching towards Orion.
But what now? I have achieved so much, but ache for so much more!
For now, I must melt, sinking into the ether that surrounds who I am,
accepting that which is tossed my way, and split-second decisioning
whether to hit it out of the park, or pray for a call, a ball, in my favor.

Love...

There's something about him that's different. Different from the "norm", different from the rest, and that something is what draws me closer and closer to him everyday. Could it be his smile? His smile with the dimples he claims are not there but I can totally see? Could it be his deep-brown eyes that I get lost, yet feel found, in? Is it his strong arms that when wrapped around me, make me feel safer and warmer than I have ever felt? Maybe it's his voice? The way he carries himself? His laugh? Or maybe it's just how his presence or the mere mentioning of his name brings a smile to my face?

I know, It's just that single look! That spark, that crackle in his eyes that does it to me. I can't explain it, nor would I even want to, because mere mortal words do not hold enough power, nor do they possess the depth of that which I mean to say. The simplest yet most complex mortal words sum up how I feel about him(though)... I Love Him.